Well not really but I thought people might be curious. I'd like to preface this with: I'd be willing to throw all of these out the window if I was feeling 'it' with someone.
My list, lets start with the basics, appearance:
Race: Don't care really. If I like you I like you.
Hair: I love curly hair. Love it, don't mind if its straight either though, I just think curly hair is cute. Blonde, black, brown, red I like them all. I like it from a couple inches long to shoulder length. Not so keen on dreads or shaved heads.
Facial hair: big no from me. I don't like beards or moustaches and don't even get me started on soul patches. I get if a guy wants to grow it out just to see what it's like or participate in movember or has a superstition to not shave during his sports finals-thats fine. If it's permanent then no thank you. I don't mind stubble at all.
Eyes: I like all eye colours. But I must admit I love pale eyes best. But not a huge factor.
Height: Taller than me. Even if by just an inch. I'm 5'6.
Body: I don't mind skinny guys (skinny nerds? Yep), fit guys (not body builders though) and normal everyday guys. I'm average weight so I tend to like a equal level from potential partners.
Tattoos: not my favourite things. A few small ones are fine, but not a huge consideration. Unless they are gang or prison tattoos.
Piercings: again I don't love them. I've never been attracted to someone with them so I can't say if I'd care or not if I was interested in someone.
Dress sense: Only huge flag here is wearing pants so low you can see their underwear. I can't stand that. Other than that I don't worry too much.
Then onto personality traits I like:
# Kind
# Funny, not a deal breaker at all but as I'm a bit quiet I like someone who can make me laugh
# Outgoing, again not a deal breaker but it does help given that I'm shy and reserved
# Faithful, goes without saying really
# Non smoker, if you do and want to quit off your own bat thats fine. But I don't want to nag you to quit, which I know I will do even if I don't want to
#Not a huge drinker, if you go out to the pub once a week okay. But having a drink every night? Not for me.
#Not a huge partier, once a month (I'm talking a big all night party or a club) is okay
#Willing to compromise, if I watch some movies you like, you'll watch some I like etc
#Non judgemental, I understand that in relationships things change and that you won't always agree/like the same things and that's fine, but if you're going to be nasty about it forget it-example you really hate that green shirt I have, nice way of asking me to get rid of it "I really don't like that green shirt, would you consider getting rid of it if I get you a new one?" versus "that green shirt is horrible. It makes you look fat/ugly/blah you should get rid of it"
#Open minded
#Drives sensibly, if you are gung-ho and stupid whilst driving forget it. My sister was killed in a car accident I don't take it lightly at all.
That's it for now I think. Am I too fussy? I don't know.
I've also made a ployvore page so you can get a rough idea of what I'm trying out style wise (I don't own all the items but it gives you an idea), check it out if you want and let me know what you think: http://alifelivedalone.polyvore.com/?filter=sets
Vanessa
Cool - I was wondering about requesting a post like this! I don't think that you're being too fussy at all. In fact I think that your "height" and "build" preferences are a lot more flexible than some women, so there may well be some slim 5'8 guys out there who are getting ignored by women looking for guys "taller than them in heels" and you can swoop in and snatch one up! Metaphorically speaking.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about a few other factors, which might influence where you would find the most candidates: would you want a guy who was into small community living or big city living? (You might not know until you've tried a city too.) What about things like politics or religion?
I won't be much help with the clothes/style side of things I'm afraid! Hopefully other commenters can provide more input there!
Feel free to request away! LOL Maybe it's because I like flats ;) But yeah I hope so. Also can't believe I left teeth off this list (??) but basically as long as you have them and they are clean all is good. I even think a little gap is really cute.
DeleteYou know what, I don't really know. I suppose I always imagine coming back to the country one day, and really I can't imagine raising kids anywhere else. But I guess a city guy might be happy to do that as he got older, I have noticed that small community guys tend to be a bit closed minded about certain things (say gay rights for example) but if I found someone I got on with who had the same values then it wouldn't matter to me either way really, city or country. Politics are neither here nor there I'm not hugely into them and I'm willing to agree to disagree over them. Religion, again don't mind as long as they are not super religious (go to church every sunday), or their religion represses women, if they want to do the occasional religious thing (say mass at Christmas) thats fine, it may bother some people that I'm not religious at all. I don't even belong to a faith.
I hope so! But a male opinion is always nice :) For example if a girl showed up wearing one of these outfits to a date what would you think:
http://www.polyvore.com/dress_10/set?id=99985976
http://www.polyvore.com/dress/set?id=99898210
http://www.polyvore.com/summer_day/set?id=99898120
http://www.polyvore.com/uni_day/set?id=99895431
As long as it's not 'run away screaming' maybe I'm getting somewhere LOL
Vanessa
It sounds like you're fairly flexible on those other items too. I think that there should be lots of guys out there who could fit your criteria, and I imagine that some of them would like you too, so once you do start meeting more guys I think you've got a good chance.
DeleteJust had a quick look at your outfit links:
The first one - mainly the white dress? I think it's a nice dress - it's quite fancy so it might be overkill for a really low-key date (e.g. bowling!) but otherwise I think most guys would like it.
The second one - the shorter blue dress - I think this would work fine in most places and looks nice too.
The third one - light blue top and denim shorts (I feel like I'm oversimplifying!) - I like those two bits. I'm not a big fan of Converse shoes or that kind of style of footwear, but I know that plenty of other people do like them. But again I wouldn't run away screaming - I'd just try to say the nice version of "let's buy you some different shoes!" ;)
The fourth one - oops, Converse too! But otherwise looks nice, and like I say the Converse is more my issue!
I don't know whether there are differences between current trends in Australia and here in England. Either way, I'd say most guys are less bothered by fashion than most women. As long as you're not wearing a black plastic bag and an "I hate men" hat I don't think you'll have problems clothes-wise!
Matt I'm not sure I can talk to you anymore. Converse are the bomb! LOL
DeleteThanks for your opinions, much appreciated! And I don't think you're oversimplifying at all, I often have trouble deciphering fashion talk myself :) It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out what the hell a fedora was. I cast no stones ;)
I think the main difference is you guys follow 'European' trends and we follow 'american' ones. Um. I think.
*slinks off to burn garbge bag dress*
Vanessa
Fair enough - we can agree to disagree on the Converse issue! I think by "oversimplifying" I meant that I probably wasn't absorbing all the details. I feel like maybe there were some bags or other accessories on those pages, but I couldn't tell you what they looked like now! Many times I've said to my wife something like "oh, look - your scarf matches your boots" and she'll be like "yeah, no shit!" I think that some other guys are unobservant like me too (although I'm sure some others are more observant.)
Delete:) To be fair I only really wear them because they fit my skinny feet-shoe shopping is a nightmare for me, it's not if I like it it's if it fits!
DeleteEh as long as nothing stands out as really horrible (like a neon green handbag-takes a very specific person to rock that) I don't worry much about matching accessories much at all. I know some people have it down to a fine art, your wife being one of them :) It's a skill for sure.
Vanessa
The preferences you listed seem very reasonable and not all picky/fussy. My list was not at all particular either, which got me to thinking...Do you think that since there isn't a clear picture or type, it makes it overwhelming when faced with trying to hone attraction onto one person? And then there's the problem of rarely feeling that instant attraction that most people seem to have and not being able to decipher when a guy is interested in "that way."
ReplyDeleteBut I'm slowly realizing that I don't have a type because I'm no one's type either obviously [I have to remember this for a future blog post when I start up again]. It's like a defense mechanism.
I like your style; very girl-next-door, but I'm not a guy so...The guys in my area go for the video vixen/bombshell look. Think Kim K/Sofia Vergara. Tight fitting outfits, super high heels, long straight hair, fake eyelashes, lots of makeup, etc. I look very plain and juvenile compared, what my friends like to call "natural." But I'm trying to sass it up a bit, going for the French look.
True. I do have a 'type' (see this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evgeni_Malkin ) but I guess I'm just open to pretty much anyone I'm attracted to-and sometimes I think it can be more an attraction to personality for me. I always feel strangely guilty when I feel attracted to someone.....like I'm doing something wrong LOL
DeleteAnd those super polished girls seem to be the preference of most men *sigh*
Vanessa