Saturday 22 March 2014

All the sunsets without me

I like to spend a little time each day contemplating what a small section of the world community may be doing in their respective countries, not too much because it's not really constructive...but it is nice, escapism is often. I often tend to think of it as being around sunset for some reason....hence all the sunsets without me. There are lots. I imagine a happy pair of backpackers watching the sunset over some Thailand bay, a grandmother in Italy looking over the mountains whilst preparing dinner for her family, a successful single women looking out over the bright NYC or Chicago lights after a run, a couple lounging on their deck in a rural area eager with anticipation of the impending arrival of their baby, a teenage girl in a small town looking out her window nervous for her first date, silly little things maybe, but they make me equal parts happy (maybe one day) and sad (nope not happening). I often wonder, do other people do this? I guess they do. Maybe not as much as I do. Anyway, here's to all the sunsets without me (and hopefully in the future, with me) enjoy them!
I think it's also time to share a bit more about me, I know you guys often try and give me advice and sympathise but I imagine it must be hard with all the missing info. So, here's a bit more info without outing myself. Hopefully.
I mentioned the family business right? Well would it surprise you to know that the family business is agriculture. Yep I'm a country girl in every sense of the word. Born and raised, I've never lived anywhere but the family homestead. The nearest neighbours (apart from my sister) are measured in kilometres. We go to town once a week for groceries. I can talk seriously about the weather with just about anyone and be totally serious about bemoaning the lack of rain being the end of everything. I can find a sheep in a 600 acre paddock but get lost in the mall. I can drive a motorbike after a bull but roundabouts freak me out. I know how long it takes a cow to have a calf and a sheep to have a lamb. When I talk about my skills being non-transferable I mean I know how to deliver a stuck lamb, ear tag a calf, ride a horse and throw out a fleece, not terribly useful outside of agricultural pursuits. My fathers side of the family have been in the general area for 5 generations. I can go a week without seeing anyone but family, when my mum went away for 2 weeks I didn't see anyone in that time. I feel guilty for wanting to leave and trapped by staying. I feel guilty asking my mother to hold on to the farm whilst I do other things so I can come back one day. I can't imagine my life without a rural connection. I can't imagine living like this forever. It's a conundrum and it makes things more difficult to be sure.

In other news I've been reading a bit and I found this:
http://www.candicedoestheworld.com/2013/12/to-go-the-journey-alone/
I love this blog. This chick is pretty amazing I think and she has awesome hair, what's not to like? I really love this quote from her intro:
“What in the world is that crazy, sexy ginger doing?” People marvelled. “Will she ever settle down and get a REAL job? She must be a lesbian.”
Yep. LOL I hope one day to be as brave as her :)

Vanessa

2 comments:

  1. I do a bit of the imagining thing sometimes. Not in as much detail as you've described, but sometimes I'm having a very ordinary-feeling day (going to work again, commuting home again, doing laundry again, etc) and I can find some comfort in the idea that someone out there will be having their most exciting day ever because they're a kid who got a brilliant birthday present or they're someone who just got together with the woman/man of their dreams or they just won the lottery or whatever.

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    1. Yeah I think it's likely something most people do to some extent. As for detail, I'm a very good daydreamer I can make up whole novels in my head.....not much good at writing them down though LOL
      Vanessa

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