Thursday 11 June 2015

Happy (belated) birthday blog!

My blog turned 2 on the 10th of June! Thats pretty amazing. It seems like longer than that to me. In that time I've started to 'get shit done', lets do a list (because lists rock...):
* I finally said enough and stopped letting anxiety ruin my life, I started seeing someone about my anxiety and actively started working on getting better
* I traveled overseas, with my mum, and started to consider having my own solo overseas adventure
* I went back to school!
* I've stuck out 6 months at school so far....6 more to go
* I learned to drive
* I passed my driving test!
* I met cool people and made friends via my blog
* I made a friend at school
* I've made plans with my new friends to do stuff
* I completed C25K and moved on to 10K progression

It's not a huge list, but compared to before I started my blog I've definitely made forward progress. I just hope it continues along slowly but surely.

Vanessa

Tuesday 2 June 2015

Adulting?

It's been a crazy few weeks here. I handed in my Biology assignment, after it nearly drove me crazy. I had a strong urge to snatch it back form the teacher immediately after handing it over........because I felt it needed more work. But my biology assignment obsession made me drop the ball on my other assignment from my english class. Dammit! In the end I asked for an extension, which I was granted, I still feel bad about needing it but the assignment wouldn't get done otherwise. It's another assignment type I've never done before and as such is causing me some issues and stress. This is the most out of step and behind I've felt with school since I started, I've been feeling a bit blah just generally and then this feeling that I'm a little bit behind is making me panic and feel even worse. And then exams are coming up in 2 weeks and I feel unprepared and worried. Particularly about bio and math as there are so many things to remember and I want to keep my grade decent. So there's been a fair bit of stress happening!
Then on top of all that I've been discussing with my mum driving back and forth to school when (if?) I get my licence and then also thinking of literally being cold turkey first-time-living-alone in February next year with no safety net (mum will be thousands of kms away) and how that might not be such a great idea. My mum decided that it would be a stellar idea for me to stay in the city where I go to school for 3 days a week-no driving back and forth at night and also living alone road test with a safety net! I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. But once my mum decides something that's usually it, and sure enough by next week we'll likely be signing a lease. This is both kind of exciting (my own place 3 days a week, buying some house stuff, friend promising to visit and go running) and absolutely terrifying (being alone at night when people are around outside, handling doing *everything* by myself, being lonely), I have no idea how it'll go. Okay hopefully.

I'm not very good at adulting, I think I fail the 'functional adult' test pretty spectacularly (my 17 year old classmates are more independent than me. No seriously), hopefully I can learn otherwise Uni and solo travel look pretty sketchy. I don't know what I'll do if I find I can't function as a normal adult-it will be the death of many hopes and dreams.

Vanessa