Sunday 20 July 2014

Someone should know

How I'm feeling right now. I can't talk to my family about this-so blogging it is. Decisions have been made, I have acquiesced to these decisions despite them not being what I want, because I think they are probably best for my family. But I'm miserable. I feel like I have no future at all and I just don't care. I'm disinterested in everything. I don't want to do anything at all and I resent being asked to. Having a bath is a major effort. I feel everything I've done is a mistake, that all failures in my life have been mine solely and completely. That things would be different if I'd tried harder, been better. The whole MH17 fiasco hasn't made me feel any better either. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with the world? What's the point?

Vanessa

4 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear that things are feeling so hard right now. It's hard to feel interested in things when you just feel like there's no point. You still have so many possibilities ahead of you but I know that if it doesn't feel that way then it doesn't really help. Continuing the see the "shrink" sounds like probably a good idea - maybe they can find a way to offer a different perspective.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words :) I appreciate it.
      Vanessa

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  2. I totally understand how you are feeling... it can be really tough sometimes. Probably it's a sign that what you need first of all is a bit of rest, putting aside those tasks that you don't feel coming to fruition, and letting go of trying to control the uncontrollable! It is very commendable that you want to change your life for the better, but what you've described sounds like a period in life when it may help (if only maybe for a couple of weeks)) to let go and forget trying to control things, or striving to make things happen, etc. It will get better - I promise!

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    1. Thanks for the comment :) I probably need a rest, but I'm unlikely to get one as most of the upset is coming from my family and there's no chance they'll let up :(
      But I'll keep slogging on and hope I'll improve or at least feel better.
      Vanessa

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