I got some not great news yesterday. To start at the beginning, in this new town we're living in (very small BTW under 3000 people) there just happens to be a uni tertiary prep teacher-not the prep I was looking at but one similar at a different uni- her husband is a math teacher. I'm glad they gave it to me straight, and it's what I've been thinking anyway but still disappointing, they said it would make more sense and be better for confidence to start at 'foundation skills', or year 10 basically, before going on to tertiary prep and then ,ultimately, university. That could take 2 years, definitely a year anyway at the very least and likely a year and a half. If I was 22 or 24 I wouldn't really worry about it, plenty of time to fit everything in. But at 27 soon to be 28 it puts a slightly different spin on things, mostly because I want to travel and for some reason working visas for australians seem to all cut off at 31. So if I do foundations skills at 28, tertiary prep for half a year at 29, then start a 3 year degree in the last half of 29 I'd be 32 at graduation. There are some ways around this, I could for example study a couple of years overseas, but the youth working visas will be lost to me. Is that a big enough deal to delay trying to go to school and try and travel first? Will I be too old at 32 to realistically enjoy the travel experience/have the social experience? Heck maybe I'm already to old for that! What is more important? What am I more likely to succeed at? Am I too old to be going back to year 10 skills? Am I too old to really ever grasp chemistry? Is it time to maybe think about trying something else? Is it time to buckle down and get it done once and for all?
I always feel embarrassed by thinking of going back to foundation skills.....I feel way to old for that.....I feel like people are judging me for having left school so early, I know it wasn't my fault but I still feel guilty and embarrassed about it: like if only I'd been a stronger more resilient person it never would've happened.