Saturday, 10 January 2015

Not so great really

I got some not great news yesterday. To start at the beginning, in this new town we're living in (very small BTW under 3000 people) there just happens to be a uni tertiary prep teacher-not the prep I was looking at but one similar at a different uni- her husband is a math teacher. I'm glad they gave it to me straight, and it's what I've been thinking anyway but still disappointing, they said it would make more sense and be better for confidence to start at 'foundation skills', or year 10 basically, before going on to tertiary prep and then ,ultimately, university. That could take 2 years, definitely a year anyway at the very least and likely a year and a half. If I was 22 or 24 I wouldn't really worry about it, plenty of time to fit everything in. But at 27 soon to be 28 it puts a slightly different spin on things, mostly because I want to travel and for some reason working visas for australians seem to all cut off at 31. So if I do foundations skills at 28, tertiary prep for half a year at 29, then start a 3 year degree in the last half of 29 I'd be 32 at graduation. There are some ways around this, I could for example study a couple of years overseas, but the youth working visas will be lost to me. Is that a big enough deal to delay trying to go to school and try and travel first? Will I be too old at 32 to realistically enjoy the travel experience/have the social experience? Heck maybe I'm already to old for that! What is more important? What am I more likely to succeed at? Am I too old to be going back to year 10 skills? Am I too old to really ever grasp chemistry? Is it time to maybe think about trying something else? Is it time to buckle down and get it done once and for all?
I always feel embarrassed by thinking of going back to foundation skills.....I feel way to old for that.....I feel like people are judging me for having left school so early, I know it wasn't my fault but I still feel guilty and embarrassed about it: like if only I'd been a stronger more resilient person it never would've happened.
This is really hard for me.
What do you guys think?


  1. It's never too late to start anything. I'm sure people have told you that before, but you have to start somewhere and then persevere. If people judge you for leaving school, tell them the reasons if you can, and they will probably be impressed that you started over again and persevered.

    Also, make sure that it is chemistry you want to go into and that there are jobs in the market for your chosen field...try to use work, volunteer experience, to figure out if you're making the right decision. That way, if you choose to go to school, you can feel confident that you made the best decision - even if it's slightly later than others. Lots of people go to school, don't like what they studied or their current job, and then go back to school again. Should they feel guilty about going back to school? I don't think so...then neither should you!

    1. Hell I've told other people that!

      I guess I just feel theres a difference between going back to college at 28 and going back to high school at 28.........but still you can't have one without the other, I just wish I could find some others in the same situation I guess :)

  2. (I'm the same person who posted above): I took an 8-month college course last year, at age 28. It was a post-grad course, so people were over 22, but some of them *were* 22. The next oldest to me was 25 or 26. I was embarrassed, so I just didn't tell people my age for quite a while (people always tell me I look younger, so I thought I could get away with it!). Right before the end of the program, someone asked me straight-out, "How old are you?" It was right after I mentioned knowing people in their 30s who weren't mature yet...haha. I think I said or did something, or a few things, that had made them figure out my age. So I told them I was 28...and no one blinked an eye. They all just nodded. I was a bit shocked...I felt like I'd blown my 'cover' and no one reacted! But the reason I'm telling you this is that a bunch of them were 5-6 years younger than me and they said nothing at all. Maybe they were secretly making fun of me, but there wasn't anything to suggest that on the surface.

    So there you go...from someone who has been in a similar situation. I know it's not the same as going back for a 4 year degree, but you may find that people actually see you as more mature, because you're older, and like you just as much as anyone who was their age.

    I have gone through similar things with dating as you, as well...I was embarrassed when I was almost 25 and I'd never been on a I 'forced' myself to go on a date through an online dating site (I've never really told people that). After that I was asked on a couple of dates, which went nowhere...and I still felt bad about that...but last year I had more opportunities to go on dates than I'd ever had in my life. So, things can change...but you have to take that first step. You can do it, but you need to stay positive and not let your doubts bring you down.

  3. hi v!
    ok, so my going back to grad school at 35 is different than your experience obviously, but it is absolutely never too late, especially if it gets you were to want to go in life. and you are never too old to enjoy travel- i know from meeting other australians during my travels that they often travel for months at a time because they are so far, but have you heard of intrepid travel? it's an australian company actually but they have trips all over the world. I've taken two with them, one to thailand one to belize, and they were both amazing! i plan to go with them to cambodia when i graduate in 2016 (ill be 38. aahhh!). and it's so FUN to go solo! you meet this whole new group of people, many of whom are also solo, so the social part is sort of laid out for you!
    and please try not to be embarrassed about going back to school. i think it is incredibly brave and smart and inspiring. people are going to judge you no matter what you do, but i think they will judge you in a good way for going back. they will admire you. i do! true chemistry sucks but you'll get through it and will be all the happier for it because you won't feel regret. education is never a regret. and you can try to travel short distances in between semesters (or whatever you call them down under)!
    go get it girl!

    1. Hi QV,
      Thank you so much for your kind words :) And I think its great that you went back to school at 35 :)
      Cambodia sounds too awesome for words!! And I have heard of intrepid travel :) I think I want to go independently (at least in english countries) so I can decide on a whim where to etc and go for longer, as you mentioned :)
      Short trips sound like a good idea too :) Asia is practically on my doorstep I should go there for some holidays! I just hope I can be confident enough to go solo, I'm such a wuss sometimes :(
      I'll try not to be embarrassed. I guess I'm just worried I'm stupid or that I'll never figure it out that I panic and feel stupid. And sometimes I feel so old even though I'm not-and you're not either!
      Thank you!