Friday, 9 January 2015

Lets get real

Time I've been writing this blog: 1 and 1/2 years. 
Things that have changed since I started this blog:
* Moved from the farm to a new house for the first time in my life.
* Made some online friends. You know who you are *waves* Love you guys.
Things that haven't changed that I would like to change:
* Still no more independent
* Haven't  got my licence
* Still haven't gone back to any kind of education
* Still haven't meet any real life love interests 
* Haven't joined any classes or achieved any exercise goals
* Still haven't mastered braiding my hair, seriously. 
Now who's fault is that? Mine. If I want something I have to get it done, other people can't do it for me. Other people can provide invaluable support of course but they can't fix my life for me. It's my fear, anxiety and dragging my feet that is stopping me. I know this. I'm willing to admit it freely. But I'm not so sure how to fix it. I can make plans. I can daydream. I can even enrol/join/promise. Then I can go ahead and do nothing at all and continue to be miserable. I don't want to do that. I'm pretty sure you don't want me to do that. I have got plans for the coming year. And I'm hoping that they'll work out, but I sometimes wonder if anything will work out or I'll still be here 20 years from now writing a slightly different post about pretty much the same stuff. I don't want that. I don't really know what to do. But I guess I'm going to try.


  1. I'm glad that you know that only you can make things happen - that's probably the first step. I used to drag my feet a lot too, so my advice will be based partly on my own experience, which may or may not be helpful. You are fighting a battle against your own reluctance and procrastination. There's no need to dislike yourself - just realise that you need to find ways to overcome these adversaries. You need strategies. You need tactics. You need to analyse exactly how your adversaries work, and then come up with ways to defeat them. I found time deadlines helpful (e.g. I must do such-and-such by 1st March or I must sign up for online dating.) Also maybe set up forfeits if you don't meet deadlines. Identify activities that use up loads of your time without helping towards your goals (e.g. looking at clothes on internet) and ban yourself from these things for periods of time if you miss deadlines. Use the extra time to work more on goals. Don't be unkind to yourself, but be strict with yourself. Don't let another 18 months slide. Don't just hope for change - figure out how you're avoiding it, step by step, and work to overcome each step in your avoidance pattern.

    1. Hi Matt,
      Thanks for the advice :)
      You're a pretty cool dude.

  2. You're welcome - I hope that you'll give it a try! One other thing that I forgot to add: if a task seems too big and daunting then you might end up talking yourself out of doing it, so try to break things into smaller chunks. Do the small chunks that you're comfortable with until you hit a wall, then find a way to push yourself that little bit further, then repeat. E.g. "online dating" as a whole might sound scary, but just writing a profile might not be too bad. Then maybe joining a site might not be too bad if you don't have to do anything else. Then just reading a few messages... then just writing one message... and so on. This is roughly how it worked for me.