Friday, 6 February 2015

I don't know what I'm doing

Hi everyone!
It's been a busy few weeks, I went to my interview and got accepted into part of the course-unfortunately my math was not good enough for Chemistry so now I'm doing english, biology and low level math. I don't know how it will go, I have my schedule but I haven't even put it in my planner cause I feel like I won't be going for long. I start on monday so I guess I'll find out soon enough, I guess I just have this feeling like I can't do anything academic at all :( I really want to though, I've found a perfect science prep course that I could do after this if I can hack it. God I hope I can. And the worst is the more anxious I get about one thing (school) the more anxious I get about everything, did that person who hasn't replied to my email for 3 days hate me?, does the person who hasn't texted me back think I'm stupid?, does that person at the post office think I'm frivolous? just one big ball of freakout right now. I also feel guilty if I post on my blog before I reply to emails......but my blog is like my diary, it's an outlet, sometimes I don't feel like emailing but I do feel like blogging *shrugs* I have no idea what I'm doing basically. So hopefully no one is irritated at me. I have plans for a couple of posts first off is the 'TMI' tag as on hugs x heart and the second is 'dear 28', hopefully by writing them here I'll remember them!

Does anyone else feel totally inferior when they read about people who are single parents to 6 kids, study full time and work part time? Or those people who collaboratively moan with you 'oh I'm bad at math' then proceed to get 18 out of 20 questions right on a test? When I say I'm bad at math I mean it-like 8 out of 20 questions right. I'm not lazy and not even particularly stupid, it's just for some reason math doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I hope I can get good enough to do what I want but I'm beginning to seriously doubt it.



  1. Congratulations on getting accepted! I hope that it works out well. I don't think that people will be irritated if it sometimes takes you a little while to reply to an email or write a blog post. You're allowed to have other things going on in your life!

    It's true that some people seem to be able to do loads of things at once, but they're not necessarily the norm - lots of other people struggle. Also I think some people do loads of things because they don't see a way not to do them. If they have kids then they have to look after the kids, and have to earn money to support them, and so on. There are advantages to not having such a busy stressful life!

    1. Thanks matt :) Yeah I think you're right, but I want to keep my blog up to date and my email friends.....I just find it such a stretch sometimes. The worst part is there often aren't other things in my life, I'm just in a 'woe is me' period and don't want to do anything. Which won't help with school.......

      True, true. I wish I was a bit better at multitasking and a big higher energy-it'd make life a lot easier!