Monday 9 February 2015

I need to stop reading

Why you ask? Well I find articles like these:
http://www.smh.com.au/national/education/students-struck-by-high-anxiety-20101129-18doq.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/universityeducation/student-life/10371945/Anxiety-at-university-dont-feel-youre-alone.html
http://counselling.anu.edu.au/brochure/10-best-ever-anxiety-management-techniques
http://www.uts.edu.au/current-students/support/health-and-wellbeing/counselling-service-and-self-help/self-help-resource-7
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/15/anxiety-epidemic-gripping-britain
(I realise some of these have nothing to do with anxiety and university but just anxiety in general)

And I wonder.....if anxiety is more prevalent amongst university students, who were for all intents had stable mental health to start, am I doing the right thing for my mental health? As someone who already suffers anxiety have I dodged a bullet? I mean I already have it so it'd be pretty hard to develop it right? Maybe not. I can certainly be more stressed thats for sure and lets face it as someone who suffers from anxiety and mild depression motivation can be hard to come by so things like assessments and tests are like my worst enemy. I want to achieve something, I want to make friends and have a life-is this the best way? I don't know.

My first day was okay. I was pretty freaked the first few hours (sweating, shaking, heart racing) but the last couple were okay. I go again tomorrow and also have my first math class so we'll see how that goes I guess. The way I'm playing it is: if it's too much I'll drop a class and I'll try to feel okay with putting my mental health first and not beat myself up over it. If I need to go down to a lower level to feel comfortable it's not a big deal. And if I do need to drop out, well, it's not the end of the world. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but I don't want to hate myself if it does.

Vanessa

2 comments:

  1. Well done for giving it a try - hopefully it'll get less scary with time!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I sure hope it does, no one can sustain this amount of anxiety for very long without burning out.

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