I thought I'd flesh out my Uni course info here (as it's pretty non-specific) just to give you guys an idea of what the game plan is, at the moment anyhow:
I'm applying for, in order, 1st choice Bachelor of Biomedical science (sounds scary right? But is actually the same as a Bachelor of applied science in human biology at the uni I'm looking at), 2nd choice Bachelor of science (likely majoring in human biology) and 3rd Diploma of science (which is a stepping stone into the 2 above courses)
So that is what I've got down on my application at the moment, we're heading across tomorrow and I'm feeling pretty nervous about the whole thing.
I've had a bit of a return of the 'why me?' feeling these last few days, feeling down and worth less then other people. Wishing for the trillionth time that things were different. That I was different. Worried it'll never get any better.
I went to the hairdresser who told me I had 'a nice shaped face' and 'petite, delicate features', I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I've always thought I had quiet strong features, perhaps my perception is off, I got a bit of a shock when I saw me and my sister in a mirror at the shopping centre and realised her nose is actually bigger then mine........I never would've seen it except I just sort of glanced up and before I could even think I'd sort of noticed the difference between us. Weird.
I've also being impatiently awaiting my registration to the incel forums, none of the new members have posted so far, when I realised I had this perception that it wouldn't be a very long list of people waiting and then realised that was a silly thing to think-goes to show just how unusual we've been primed to see incel as in the general community.
I watched a documentary called 'turn me into a eunuch' this week as well, I felt very sad for one of the young men who had decided to have the procedure done, I think everyone has a right to choose what to do with their body-including castration if that's what they want, the thing that got me was this kid (he was 20) had 0 counselling or therapy before it was done-he just booked an appointment with the doctor and did it. He then regretted having done it, it's irreversible. He should never have been able to make that decision without serious therapy.
I've had a weird week.
PS here is my brighten up my post section. I really need to get some of these shirts.