First things first: my sister is back. That didn't last long at all. It's okay, but I'm really sick of hearing about how great my niece is. That probably makes me a bad person but I can't help it.
Second: My sister wants to go back to uni. This is both good (someone I can go with to start) and bad (my sister can be really cruel to me and am I ever going to grow as a person in my big sister's shadow?). She's basically talked me into applying, which isn't a bad thing-at least I'll be moving forward, we're going across to the campus next friday to apply. We're applying for different courses but they share basically the same first year subjects which, again, is good (we can study together) and bad (again with the being cruel, just general things like 'don't you get it?' whilst eye rolling or 'shut up, no one cares what you think' or 'at least I can do x' clearly implying my lack of social skills). Theres also no way that I won't be overshadowed by her, it just is.
So about school. I'm terrified, mainly that I'll have trouble keeping up academically as I have a small base knowledge in math and science. There's a good chance as I'm mature age that I'll get into the degree directly, this scares me as I worry I won't be able to keep up without the foundations and that I won't be able to catch them up in the next three months. Then there's the social side, I probably won't fit in and I need to accept that, I'm not a friendly outgoing person-it's disappointing but a fact. There's also the fact that I'll be around a bunch of young people who will no doubt be dating whilst I watch on, wanting that but not knowing how.
On the bright side even if I make no friends and get nowhere with dating etc at least I'll be achieving something other than sitting around all day worrying over my lack of a life. And I'm excited by the possibility of going on an exchange, after all what better time to come out of my shell and get some experience than on the other side of the world?-and again if worst comes to worst it'll only be 6 or so months without my family. If I get through and graduate then there may be an opportunity to study a postgrad course in another country (Like A over at An introverts party), which could be good for me.
So I might be needing some of these things:
Anyway I just want to thank you guys for being my friends so far, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!