Saturday 26 October 2013

Yes. No. Maybe?

So firstly I'd just like to say sorry for all my complaining. It's likely to continue.......this is the only place I talk about these things, it's a relief but I worry I'm boring people stupid, so, yeah, sorry if that's the case!
First things first: my sister is back. That didn't last long at all. It's okay, but I'm really sick of hearing about how great my niece is. That probably makes me a bad person but I can't help it.
Second: My sister wants to go back to uni. This is both good (someone I can go with to start) and bad (my sister can be really cruel to me and am I ever going to grow as a person in my big sister's shadow?). She's basically talked me into applying, which isn't a bad thing-at least I'll be moving forward, we're going across to the campus next friday to apply. We're applying for different courses but they share basically the same first year subjects which, again, is good (we can study together) and bad (again with the being cruel, just general things like 'don't you get it?' whilst eye rolling or 'shut up, no one cares what you think' or 'at least I can do x' clearly implying my lack of social skills). Theres also no way that I won't be overshadowed by her, it just is.
So about school. I'm terrified, mainly that I'll have trouble keeping up academically as I have a small base knowledge in math and science. There's a good chance as I'm mature age that I'll get into the degree directly, this scares me as I worry I won't be able to keep up without the foundations and that I won't be able to catch them up in the next three months. Then there's the social side, I probably won't fit in and I need to accept that, I'm not a friendly outgoing person-it's disappointing but a fact. There's also the fact that I'll be around a bunch of young people who will no doubt be dating whilst I watch on, wanting that but not knowing how.
On the bright side even if I make no friends and get nowhere with dating etc at least I'll be achieving something other than sitting around all day worrying over my lack of a life. And I'm excited by the possibility of going on an exchange, after all what better time to come out of my shell and get some experience than on the other side of the world?-and again if worst comes to worst it'll only be 6 or so months without my family. If I get through and graduate then there may be an opportunity to study a postgrad course in another country (Like A over at An introverts party), which could be good for me.
So I might be needing some of these things:

school



school


And if I ever get to graduate (people dress up for that right? :)) I might get to wear something like this:
Graduation


Pretty dress


 Anyway I just want to thank you guys for being my friends so far, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!
Vanessa

10 comments:

  1. Feel free to keep complaining if that's how you feel - I don't think it's boring! It's your blog to do with as you please, and we wouldn't be here reading it if we hadn't found it interesting so far. And as for the friendship part: you're welcome, and thank you too!

    I think it sounds like a good thing that you're applying for university, so as not to be stuck in limbo for too long, although I understand that it must be scary. Hopefully there are things you can do to make it less scary, like going with your sister, although it does sound really crappy that she says such condescending things to you.

    As for the math and science part: I don't know how well this would work, but I do have a degree in math and I was good at science at school (especially physics), so if you end up with any specific things that you'd like to try to chat about then we could try doing that. I'm not saying that I could teach you a broad range of things from halfway around the world, but just if you end up with one or two sticking points that could be helped with some back-and-forth emails then I'm up for giving it a try!

    Writing this is also making me think that maybe there are free mini-courses online for picking up a bit of basic math and science. Or maybe your mum could help teach you a bit if she knows more than you and you have some time?

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    1. Hopefully I'll have less to complain about! LOL I guess it's just that how-the-hell-did-I-get-here-? feeling lately that's making me a bit morose.
      Yeah, it will likely be good (or at least okay) for me.......doesn't stop me freaking out though! I love my sister, but make no mistake she could make a grown man cry with her words.
      I really appreciate that Matt :) At the moment I'm basically trying to rehash stuff I should know (but seem to have conveniently forgotten...) online (Khan academy is good) and trying to get a grip on basic science. I'm going to go to a tutor (ugh...they always leave me feeling stupid) a couple of times and hopefully get enough knowledge base that I can swim rather than sink. But if I do have any specifics I need a different perspective on I'll be sure to ask :)
      There seem to be some reasonable online resources, I'm checking them out as I go, now I just need to get me brain into working mode rather than mush mode.
      Vanessa

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  2. I agree with Matt. It's your blog to do what you want with. Don't worry about what other people are thinking.

    If you do end up going to school, good luck. You'll be fine. School has clubs and extracurriculars that you can get involved with too. Not all of them are for social butterflies either.

    Best of luck to you either way. And I love the outfits and accessories that you posted.

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    1. Thanks Dienna :)
      Eeep I sure hope so, I hope I can work up enough confidence to apply for exchange or at least to be more independent anyway :)
      Thanks! The red, cream and gold dress is made from sari's-if it was in my size I'd be sooo tempted!
      Vanessa

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  3. Good luck with uni! It can be quite interesting and fun if you pick the subjects you are really interested in. Not sure what field you are studying but if you need any help, let me know. =)
    -A

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    1. Hi A,
      Probably health sciences, if I can! Thanks for the offer :) I'll definitely be keen keen to hear more about studying abroad, it sounds fun but daunting too!
      Vanessa

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  4. I'm from the US and I know you live elsewhere in the world. Here when you go to college/university, even if you just graduated high school, you take a quick class placement exam. They know that not everyone will be ready for college level classes and may need a refresher. That way they can place you in the core curriculum classes that are to your current level of knowledge. You may find that it's similar where you are at. They can't just assume you know stuff based on age. Even if you knew it when you were younger you probably couldn't remember it now. There is nothing wrong with taking some basic classes. A good solid foundation is better for the more advanced classes.

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    1. They do have that test-its not mandatory though. I'm working on getting that solid foundation-truth be told I doubt my sister remembers anything from high school......but try explaining that to her LOL
      Vanessa

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  5. Hi Vanessa - I'm sure you'll do really well at uni. It's always hard to get into the swing of things at first but once you make that initial attempt - it starts to get easier. It's just training your mind to a different way of thinking.

    Also, uni is usually very good for making people come out of their shell. I don't know what your uni is like, but most have societies which you can join at freshers week. You'll be amazed at how many people there are that you make friends with. I personally hated going to me course but I loved the social side of meeting so many interesting people.

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    1. Thanks I appreciate you saying that :)

      I'm hopeful that Uni will help a bit with coming out of my shell-one of my problems with societies and things is that I worry I'm too old for them :( I also think getting away from my family (ie an exchange) might help me too.....after the initial OMG-I'm-all-by-myself-my-family-is-half-a-world-away panic attack anyhow :)
      Vanessa

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