Vanessa
Wednesday 3 July 2013
In the closet
I can't help feeling that later in life virgins are, effectively, in the closet. It has all the hallmarks, we're ashamed, scared and worried about being recognised. Of all the virgin blogs and articles I've read none that I can remember used real names or photos. We don't chat about our lives in detail or post pics because we're worried someone will find out, we exist in a mostly anonymous way on the net for the most part-and I can't cast any stones because I am the same. I feel like I shouldn't have to feel this way but I do. I can only hope one day I'll no longer feel that way, in the mean time I hope if I'm ever in a positon to meet some of the other lovely lady bloggers out there they'll agree and we can have a real chat about what it's like being us :)
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Until I had found these blogs I was feeling very alone in where I was; my peers are either paired off, married, and/or starting their families. The worry that I have is that a stranger would come up and act a fool about something that I only disclose to very few people that I deem important (hence the "anonymity"). And that's how I feel about my sexuality (or lack thereof); it's important, and it's natural, but it's no one's business but mine/my partner/confidant/doctor(s) concerning what I do. I don't mind talking about sex...but some people overshare (once you've heard a few stories, you've heard them all), and I find it unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteThis cloak of anonymity is what, I think, endears readers. We're not one particular person or face. I read each experience as if I could have written those words and felt those emotions myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie; fear is one of many factors that keep me from sharing my name and face, but that's the result of not being able to share my thoughts and feelings with the people around me. I feel freer to express myself in this small community where I know others can relate and won't judge me.
Both true. I often feel that I wouldn't care who knew if it didn't have a negative association........and would likely draw snide comments or even worse be the thing that people measure you by-which is ridiculous. But it is a personal thing, no one really needs to know and it certainly does not reflect ones worth as a person, although it can feel that way sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI consider myself to be in the closet when it comes to this. I kindly listen to other people talk about their relationships and sex lives, while I've never had either. Very few people know my secret, a few close friends, but that's it. If I'm going to be well known for something, it's not going to be for this. I would rather be known for other talents or accomplishments.
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