I've also realised something else: my mother always looks at the bad side of everything. I don't know why it's taken me this long to figure this out but there you go. She assumes that everyone is awful or wants something unless proven otherwise, she's very suspicious of people and automatically assumes the worst case of whatever they've said even if they didn't mean it that way. She also has a way of blaming me when anything goes wrong with my friends, like for example 'K hasn't called in ages. You must have said something to her' or 'T hasn't texted, what did you do to her?' and lets be fair it takes 2 people to maintain a friendship and sometimes I'm sure I did do something but it isn't always me. Not everything that goes wrong is my fault. I hope.
I know she doesn't mean it in a vicious sense it's just how she is. But I worry it might have rubbed off on me a bit. I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to be the way I am and no amount of trying will change it.