Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Upsetting people without meaning to?

I take things way too personally most of the time, I feel like I have to make everyone else happy and when I don't, even if I don't know them, I feel guilty and awful :( How do I stop doing that? Why do I do it? I can't please everyone all the time right? Or am I being unreasonable? I'm a classic people pleaser and it sucks. S says I need to 'think less about other people feelings and more about your own'.
I'll be writing another post soon about my sister bing awful, but I had to get this off my chest :(


  1. Think of it this way: do you think that other people are agonizing over your interactions, obsessing about whether their words or actions hurt or displeased you in any way? Are they truly upset over something you did or said or just annoyed that they aren't getting their way?

    If not, your're doing all the work and that isn't fair. Whatever it is, they'll live.

  2. I understand how you feel. I had a huge argument with a friend over something that started out as a normal conversation. I tried to resolve it but he refuses to speak to me now and I don't know what more to do. I've just left it as it is though but it's been on my mind for a while now.

  3. Hi Vanessa,

    I have the exact same problem, and the reason for it has been described to me this way:

    because I'm shy and nervous of people in general, I tend to act very submissive in order not to upset anyone. However, what this submissive behavior really does (so I've been told) is make even nice people feel as if I expect them to act like jerks - which in turn causes them frustration, because most people don't like being made to feel that way. The submissive, "people pleasing" behavior has the exact opposite effect of what was intended!

    I don't know if this is anything like what's going on with you, but it might be worth considering. Hope this helps. :)

    1. An interesting take on it for sure........something to think about :)